"Do you enjoy any thing in your life? Many people do. A quick run in the morning to get the endocrine system pumping. A dip in the pool on a hot summer's day. A glass of red wine, a fuzzy blanket, and an unwatched TV series on Amazon Prime Video on a lonely winter Friday. Bacon, perhaps! Covered in rich dark chocolate. Puppies. Your favorite musical performer, playing your personal favorite songs in a small, intimate venue. A delightful game or puzzle which challenges you but ultimately yields to your dynamic mind. The curves of a sleek sports car, freshly washed and waxed. A quick shag with the one you love at an unexpected time.
All of that is crap. That's not pleasure. That's illusion. Religion has been telling you that for years. But religion is crap too.
There is only one way to truly become one with the divine, indivisible essence of universal creation. It is this keyboard.
As soon as you settle your fingertips onto the keys, you will know what I am talking about. They have a non-smooth surface and are slightly cupped. Your fingertips touch them and they touch your fingertips back. They don't want to let go.
You life a finger - no! it doesn't want to let go. So your finger returns and presses the key. The key glides downward, and the resistance it presents is like nothing you can get from any other keyboard. It is consistent, then it relieves a little, then it catches again, then loosens for that final, satisfying click, which is lighter than you expect, but you can feel it in your soul. It is also quiet, so you can hear the little voices of your fingertips moaning and crying out in pleasure.
It is true that the switches are electrocapacitive mechanical / rubber dome hybrids. But they are also small portals into the higher worlds that are layered above the physical. Every time you press a key, you advance the cause of good and enlightenment for all creatures everywhere in the universe. The universe is brought another millimeter forward towards cosmic enlighenment.
Do not fail. For yourself, for your ancestors, for all future generations, on this and all other planets, buy this keyboard."